Transitions into Marriage

Getting married is stressful. You are combining two peoples lives and creating one. You are breaking down boundaries and overcoming new challenges as a couple. The first major challenge to overcome in a marriage is the wedding itself. Planning a wedding is costly, stressful, and overwhelming. Although, it doesn’t have to be!

Think about where you can save money while planning a wedding. I know how terrible this sounds but use the free church as a venue instead of paying for a wedding venue.  As a bride I hated the idea of having my reception in the gymnasium of a church. So tacky and ugly. However, if you have the right touch and use distraction techniques in your decorations you can create a space that is beautiful, and you can barely tell you’re in a gym! Another way to save money is to make your own food instead of having the food catered. Catering can be costly, especially if you are having a large wedding. Design your own announcements and print them through a local shop or online printing shop such as Shutterfly. These are usually less expensive options than the alternative of printing through your photographer or designer.

Yes, planning a wedding is stressful however it is possible to ease some of that stress throughout the whole process. Try to keep the idea in mind that it does not have to be perfect. There will be bumps in the road, and something is bound to go wrong no matter how prepared you think you may be. Do not stress about the things you are unable to control. It is very hard, but very possible.

Most often, the bride takes it all on herself. Do not be afraid to delegate! The groom should step up and help in all of the decision making. Show your bride how much you love her and help her plan the wedding. After all, it is both of your big day, not just hers. Take the time throughout your engagement to work together and show each other the commitment you are making is because you want to do it together.

After the wedding, life will be an adjustment. Life will be hard, but you can work together to make the first years of marriage memorable in whatever ways that may be. Focus on each other’s needs and try to give them the love and attention you would want yourself. Put your phone down and spend quality time with one another.

Plan a weekly date night! You may be dating but he or she is still your boyfriend or girlfriend. You’re dating for the rest of eternity people! Open the doors for her, show her you still care. Speak his or her love language and show your significant other you still care, and you still want to sweep them off their feet day after day together.

Now for the fun part. You will get to a point in your marriage when you start to discuss bringing beautiful babies into the world. Remember how big of a decision this is and remember to involve God in your decision. Babies bring happiness and joy into our lives, however, as parents they will be the biggest stressor of all on your marriage. Research has shown that happiness in a marriage decreases more and more with each child you have.

Now, this should not discourage you from having your own wonderful children. It should remind you; it will be hard as marriage is. You did sign up for a marriage full of overcoming challenges together. Remember how important dating your spouse is and remember that even with a life full of craziness and children that you still have a spouse who needs love and attention as well. Work at it, reassure each other, and show each other how much you still care. It is, after all, the thought that counts.