How does a father
contribute to the development of a child?
According to the
faculty at Harvard Extension School “children turned to fathers when they
wanted to play and turned to mothers when they were stressed or upset.”
(Harvard Extension School). Fathers affect a child’s self esteem and often make
an impact on who the children grow up to be. Children use their father’s as they
learn and grow. Learning is a crucial piece of a child’s development and often
times the play with a father is a milestone in their development.
Authoritarian parenting:
parents with very high expectations for their children and offer very little
feedback or response and nurturing. Often times these parents demand control
and this is their way of keeping hold of that control. Often times a father is
the authoritative figure in these situations. This can be good but often times
results in children retaliating with rebellion. Many times, mistakes tend to be
punished harshly. In most children this does not encourage a healthy
development, especially in the younger years of growing.
Authoritative parenting:
is parents being extremely respectful and open to the child’s emotions and
needs. They too demand a lot of their children. They have high expectations and
expect them to be met. These high standards are often delivered with boundaries
and limits to what the children can and cannot do. These fathers are consistent
and will always be there for their children. Often times children are responsive
to this type of parenting and connect with their fathers however they do also
often rebel in this parenting style because of the enforcement of rules.
Permissive Parenting:
Fathers are very loving in these situations. They give and are very responsive to
the needs and emotions of the child. This creates a strong bond and connection
between the father and child. This parenting style has fathers who tend to be lenient
and provide very few guidelines or rules. Often times the relationship between
father and child is so strong that they often form more of a friendship than a
parental guiding figure. There is less expectation and the fathers often don’t expect
mature behavior.
Children express love
to their fathers in different ways. An unknown fact is that just like women,
men need to be shown affection from their children. Words of affirmation as
well as thoughtful gifts are ways for children to show their fathers affection.
Simple, “I love you’s” or “thank you’s” mean so much to a father looking for
affirmation from his children.
The connection built
between children and their fathers can be special. Personally, my relationship with
my mother differs from my relationship with my father. I love them both and
cherish both relationships equally. My mother is my best friend and my place for
retreat in times of trouble. I know I can talk with her and my emotions and
self will be taken care of. However, my father is my safe place. He cares and enjoys
spending quality time together. We have the relationship where his hug is the
best place to be. I know if I ever need help or I am in trouble my dad will be
there quick and willing to help me and get me out of that tough situation. He
picks me up and loves me no matter what. There is no relationship like my relationship
with my dad and I am grateful for his influence and eternal perspective in my
life. He leads our family and never fails to make his love known even when he
isn’t saying it directly.
Father’s who make
time for their children create lasting loving memories and relationships that
give your children something to live for.
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